Nobody is perfect, right? We all make mistakes. We all forget things. It’s part of human nature.
Sometimes, I feel like when it comes to Diabetes- mistakes are kind of a no-no. Making a mistake or forgetting something isn’t taken very lightly. I mean, yeah, what happens because of mistakes or forgetting something can definitely have an impact when it comes to the ‘Betes. I understand the concern. Forgetting insulin, to check, low supplies, etc. Making mistakes with carb counts, planning, asking if you took your long acting insulin, dropping your pump, etc. They all have an impact- yes, but also “We’re only human.”
I remember once I forgot my meter as a teenager (not the only time- just one of the times), and I was getting in trouble and asked if I did it on purpose.
So of course, I pulled out my “sass.” I started saying- well my brain isn’t fully developed, as a teen there’s a lot going inside my brain- and being forgetful is a part of it. Remember? It’s science.
That did not go over very well… But really, sometimes- I just forget or I make mistakes (being human, ADHD, etc).
Mistakes happen, but yesterday I made one right after the other and all related to Diabetes. Yesterday was one Dia-Fail right after the other.
(Glad I’m not Sam from “Supernatural” reliving Tuesday’s- no thanks!)
At 5 right before I left work, I start to go low so I have a juice.
I wait a bit. I see that I’ve gone up enough and begin my walk to the T Station. I’m chilling in the 80’s and 90’s with an 80% temp basal. I get to the T station and my train starts coming. I hear the room-attention-seeking “Beep beep” of my CGM. I plummeted to below 55. I get on the train and search for tabs. Mistakes… Should have not gotten on and bought a low snack instead.
I cannot find the tabs anywhere. I take everything out of my backpack. Still cannot find them. I turn my basal off. I find two pieces of candy. Mistakes…
But I know myself. I know this is not enough.
At this point I’m communicating with my housemate. She’ll be picking me up at the T Station.
There are no vending machines in the T Station. I search my bag again. Nothing. I notice that the school near the station has something going on. My survival instincts kick in.
I walk into the school. A teacher sees me. (At this point my low brain is turned on to the max). I blurt out. “I have type 1. I cannot find my low supplies- they either didn’t make it to my bag or I lost them. I cannot find them. Do you have something? Juice. Snacks. Please help.”
We go to the kitchen to look for something- I spot graham crackers.
I hear someone go “Type 1 represent.” I turn around- it’s a teenage girl who saw my CGM. She has type 1 as well.
I blurt out “cannot find my tabs.”
She says “it happens.” With a smile. (The little things right?)
Side note, the fact that the school has a T1D student is an important reason for them to know about Type 1. But then ya know, people in a tricky situation (like myself) benefit from this knowledge as well.
I’m grateful for kind people. I’m “extra” grateful for kind people who know about T1D.
I wait for my ride- grateful for food- still in 50’s. I stuff my face with a few packs of crackers. My ride shows up, and we go to dinner.
I order lemonade to bring me up. I then order food. I then order dessert- I was still on the low side and chocolate lava cake with ice-cream sounded like it would hit the spot- I had lactaid. and #Treatyoself
I start to eat my lava cake. Realize I forgot to give insulin. Mistakes… I look down at my pump….
I only have one unit left…. Mistakes….
I reach into my pocket to grab my spare insulin pen I carry around. I’ve been going on this- I must not waste insulin kick -lately….
When I realize I don’t have it. I can see the pen… sitting on my desk at work because I had re-organized my bag and didn’t put it back in. Mistakes….
When we get home, I immediately change my site. Check my BG again because of course the sensor failed because I’m pretty sure I ran into something during my low brain. Mistakes… I’m in the upper 300’s. I give insulin. Check for ketones.
I dump out my bag and you know what falls out? My bottle of tabs… Welp. Guess from the low and resulting “low brain” I wasn’t able to locate them. Mistakes…
I immediately replenish my snacks and emergency snacks- still have my emergency cash. I make sure everything is already opened if possible (because for some reason low supplies are hard to open on a normal day and basically impossible if you are low.)
So yeah- another mistake- I hadn’t replenished all of my spare snacks. Something I definitely struggle to do and something I’m working on- just like restocking on emergency pumpsites… oops. Mistakes….
I wait for my BG to start coming down before I go to bed. I believe I fell asleep before 11. Slept like a sleep champion! Go me! This morning I woke up at 190. I’ll take it.
Mistakes. Mistakes Everywhere. #Diafails. Everywhere.
Yesterday was one of those days. And the only factor was myself. Besides being a little scared… I was mostly embarrassed... Thinking to myself- I’m a young adult- that was too many mistakes. But. Today is a new day- and I’m only human. I’m also my own worst critic.
Things I took from yesterday- I’m grateful for the little and not so little things. The teenage girl with T1D who got it (love spotting people in the wild). Grateful for the friends who have T1D who get it, but also grateful for the non-T1D peeps who step in in times of need and grateful for education and awareness. I’m also glad that I’ve gotten way better at asking for help.
(Not my photo- from Type 1 Diabetes Memes)
I almost had an endo appointment today, and not going lie- glad I didn’t. But if they ask me at my next appointment “what happened on this day?”