I just forget.

I understand that I really have to take my ADHD medication between 5:30PM and 6:30PM.

If I take it before 5:30, there’s a little too much in my system at that time, and it wears off way before I go to bed.

If I take it after 6:30, it will keep me up after I want to go to sleep.

And more often than not, I forget until at least 7:30- even with an alarm and an event on my calendar– because I’m usually in the middle of something or I just- forget (usually I forget).

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(I have an alarm for Lantus/ADHD at 8:45AM, 1PM, and 5:30PM)

And every time I’m reminded I should have taken my meds- but it isn’t as simple as “taking your meds.”

Before I started medication back in April, I thought insomnia and your mind racing and tossing and turning was just a part of my sleep routine I couldn’t escape– I have struggled with sleep since I was a child- and we have tried everything to help with my sleep patterns.

My mind likes to race- I tend to think about what happened that day or week and plan for the next day or week. I think about things I shouldn’t think about or that don’t matter- or that thing I have to do right now (but it could actually wait). And so much more- I tried to journal at night or plan the next day before bed. I tried teas. And baths and routines and books. And black out curtains. And no electronics- and so much more.

Nothing really worked well.

Then I started meds in April- and when I figured out timing and what worked for me. I found myself going to sleep shortly after my head hit the pillow- almost always. A foreign but welcomed concept to me.

So now, I can really tell the difference if I don’t take meds. Basically my evening will be completely shot productivity wise, and my to do list goes out the window- I find myself stressing out more about things- and if my blood sugar rises- all bets are off. Anxious to the max.

For instance last night, I forgot to take medication because I went shopping after work and I got consumed by taking the green line to my destination. Luckily, I was running around until almost 10PM so being productive or thinking about life and getting anxious wasn’t a part of my evening- but when I got back home- and I got into bed- I became obsessive with the bug bites that are still healing on my legs and that my skin was a little dry. I couldn’t remember if I had put anything on them- so I decided I needed to- usually I make myself just put on Neosporin all over the spots on my leg- but last night- I HAD to use a Q-tip with a certain amount of Neosporin to each and every single spot on my leg- and for people who have seen the bites- it is A LOT. That took time-then I HAD to put on lotion and I kept rubbing it in and adding more until I felt satisfied. I tried to reason with myself that I didn’t need to do that much. (I also struggle with mindlessly picking at my skin when it is healing- which I learned was part of OCD. So it takes even longer to heal- and it is too hot for jeans.) I could have been in bed at certain time, but I lost about two hours of sleep because I wouldn’t let it go. I desperately tried to reason with myself to go to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep until I felt satisfied. 

I should have taken my meds, but it’s not that simple– and it’s not an “I don’t want to take them” or “I don’t need them”- there isn’t some hidden meaning- I just forget. I’m sure (and have heard) people say there is some hidden meaning to this- (similar to Diabetes)- but sorry folks- I just forget.

My hopes that are eventually it just clicks as a part of my routine like my morning and afternoon reminders or maybe I will learn and not want the evening impact of forgetting.

 

Hey you! Yes, you! 

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We’ll both be glad you did! -Mindy

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4 thoughts on “I just forget.

  1. i have Paranoid Schizophrenia as well as OCD. i am T1D and i wear a pump and a cgm. my body is totally plugged in. the cgm has been a real challenge for me b/c it is having a love affair w/ my OCD…constant checking, checking, checking, and then checking again. OMG. but i do save money on those pesky test strips! whenever i go to my endo, he says something insensitive like “here comes that crazy OCD patient of mine.” i want to smack him. he tries to explain my behavior to his other office members who don’t already know me. i feel insulted and hurt , and it makes me want to never go back again. i have Graves Disease as well, and he monitors that, too; i feel like i spend 1/2 my life in doctors offices. 😦

  2. Pingback: One of My New Loves- Tresiba! | There's More to the Story: LIFE, Diabetes, and Mental Health

  3. Pingback: I Just Forget Sometimes, and It’s Not the End of the World | There's More to the Story: LIFE, Diabetes, and Mental Health

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