I don’t know what I’m doing.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m a recent college graduate, who did pretty well, from the University of Georgia with a major in Social Work and a minor in Sociology, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Shortly after finishing school and skipping graduation, I went on a two week trip to Europe and drove up to move to Boston the two days after I flew back to the U.S, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I started my new job in the field I’m passionate about, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m not getting ready to head off to law school. It’s hard for me to change major plans, but I am still getting to do what I want to do with life without a law degree. I’m still struggling with this on occasion including defending myself, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I helped with sessions at the student retreat, and I vocally said “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

On the last day of the retreat, I asked “does anyone really know what they’re doing?”

I’m figuring out this city life, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m navigating, well getting lost, on public transportation and the streets of Boston, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

What is an evening and what is a weekend? For the first time since middle school (almost 9 years ago), I do not regularly have 11-12 hour days every day, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I recently was officially diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and OCD. I’m navigating that within my life, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Last winter, I started a CGM after a relentless battle with everyone in my life. The relationship with how I feel about it is complicated, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m not completely stressed about finances anymore, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

My stress level is continually going down, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m trying to get a routine going, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I cut negative things and people out of my life, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m gladly starting fresh, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

As the amazing Tina Fey says “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” I agree with that. I don’t really want to fake ‘till I make though. I want to be vocal and honest with the fact that I’m trying to figure this whole life thing out even though I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll try my best, use my knowledge of life, use my education, work hard, plan but also “wing it” in a constructive way. But there are key moments where you should fake it ’till you make it.

I promise to write an update blog and blog about everything on my mind now that life is calming down, but I wanted to start with this one. Because I don’t know what I’m doing, but I want to embrace it. 

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Hey you! Yes, you! 

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We’ll both be glad you did! -Mindy

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One thought on “I don’t know what I’m doing.

  1. Pingback: Promises from 14 Year Old Me | There's More to the Story: LIFE, Diabetes, and Mental Health

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