Wait. Where did August Go??

I’m a little in disbelief right now. How is it already September 5? How did I just complete my 3rd week of classes, and better yet survive? How am I already into my senior of college with the real world right around the corner? I find myself asking is this real life?

Spoiler- I will not be going straight into law school- more on that to come- with my experience about getting ready so far- Law school is just delayed for now.

My schedule for the next 9 (well 8 now) months-

  • Monday- 8-4 Internship
  • Tuesday- 8-4 Internship
  • Wednesday- 9-3 Class
  • Thursday 12-4 Internship
  • Friday 9-1 Class

This does not include the meetings I have sporadically on Thursday mornings. Dawgs for Diabetes. CASA. Camp For a Cause (now that I can be more involved). A Social Life. DSAB. JDRF. CDN. Camp Kudzu things. etc etc.

What’s missing?

…………….a job. BUT- after being on constant freak out mode since I “lost” my job in July. I am now enjoying not having a job. For the first time in forever- I am not working (I include babysitting). Don’t get me wrong- I am still looking for a job, but I am no longer stressing. I am enjoying it. I forgot what a real weekend was, and it took a little adjustment. But I can devote times to other things- and you know I am just as busy as always.

Senior year with social work? It’s a little crazy. This has been an off week for me- procrastinating like no other. Time management I do okay with- but my workaholic in training tendencies are my problem. I also realized that everything I do has social work flavor to it- and without my job I’m not taking a legitimate mental break from everything. So I need to figure that out. The problem is I enjoy things social work related- so I’m in the right major.

I have senioritis- but THANKFULLY- I am in a wonderful placement for my internship- apparently the professor knew where I needed to be more than I even knew. So those 2.5 days a week will tide me over in my 2 full days of classes right? I’m registered for 17 hours of classes- 11 spent in class during the week and the other 6 for my 20 hour internship. But so far I really enjoy my internship- I also feel that I am going to learn SO much and gain so much experience from all sides of social work! I also really enjoy my International Social Work Class! So it gets me through. Sundays MUST be school work day- what I keep telling myself.

Dawgs for Diabetes? Well honestly- this is OUR year- I am so excited to see where my last year with D4D will take us. I am even getting comfortable with delegating (shocker).

Not knowing where I will be next year by spring semester is slightly scary for me honestly- I have always known what is next- but now with law school on hold- I am not sure. I am even toying with the idea of also getting my Masters in Nonprofit Management? Who knows- What I do know? I WILL be in a major city in the northeast.

I’m supposed to be studying right now- but I decided I needed to post so I could expand on law school soon- luckily my roommate is in a productive mindset- she encouraged me to come, and hopefully the productivity rubs off on me? We’ll see. Friday is a struggle- but with a coffee in my hand and a good atmosphere who knows what I’ll get done- I mean I finally cranked out a post right?

 

Blog posts to come

  • Why I love the DRC
  • Law School planning experience
  • What’s Next?
  • Diabetes Burnout
  • Why “adults” need camp

-Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

Camp Twitch and Shout and Camp Kudzu Session 3.

so- I’m a little behind on writing this post- but that’s kind of the story of my life- I’m hoping when I get back to my schedule and get back on top of things- I’ll be better at this.

To say that I absolutely loved my experience at Camp Twitch and Shout would be such an understatement. From arriving for training to getting to know the amazing campers to even airport duty- everything was such a life changing adventure.  From the get go, I felt welcomed by everyone the moment I got there. There was a lot of similarities between Twitch and Shout and Kudzu, with a few differences as well.

I had no idea I would learn so much about Tourette’s Syndrome. I’ve also found a blog you should check out-

https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Little-Bit-Different-Tourettes-Syndrome/164459540340080

http://alittlebitdiffrent.blogspot.com/

I realized I have a problem now- I feel in love with two more camps- so that’s 5+ weeks I need to figure out each summer- all I can do is try right?

and Camp Kudzu was amazing as per usual. I was glad to have an amazing group of campers and co-counselors. Our cabin was 100% Type 1- which has never happened to me before- the campers (of course), all three counselors (we were also all CIT’s), our CIT, and our clinician. (Our MCIT didn’t- but she’s been to camp forever). I still cry when we do the Diabetes lineup- over 983 years of Diabetes- I know we’ll be at 1000 soon. One volunteer will be at 50 years next year- we are all living and thriving with Diabetes.

My love for camp continues to grow- and honestly I like it better on the other side- even more than being a camper turned CIT turned counselor- I love watching children have AHA-moments, and grow through camp. I really want children to get what I got out of camp- a life changing experience, to not be the only one, to learn, to have an escape, and to have a family.

 

 

 

 

I’m really sorry this post is short. I really do have a lot to say- and I have a lot of feels about camp- but there’s a lot going on- classes are about to start- and I’m trying to get other things handled before schools starts. I’m also sorry for not editing it.

-Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

I’m not nervous what?

again- I didn’t edit well- goal is to get better with that

I planned on writing the Camp post for today- but after my Dermatologist appointment and my lovely two hour phone call with my internet/tv company- I would like to rant a little while saying AHA.

Like I’ve said, I haven’t been feeling well for months now. I will go ahead and disclose it- I am pretty sure it has to do with my thyroid. I have the symptoms- and all but one number is not “in range.” But doctor after doctor won’t do anything. So I decided to switch to a new endocrinologist- who I will see tomorrow. After this whole debacle is solved and fixed- I will go into the whole story. Also, It doesn’t have to be my thyroid that is wrong, but something is- and I WANT IT FIXED.

This whole “in range nonsense” really gets me going. When I started trying to research, I see the same posts again and again about people barely being in range or just out of range, but the doctor doesn’t want to do anything. I do understand….. to a point. If the person is feeling okay, I understanding watching and not wanting to do anything right away. BUT if the person has been complaining about not feeling well or feeling off, and the numbers aren’t quite in range- really make them suffer- say it’s only stress or it will get worse. I do understand though…. to a point. Apparently they’ve been watching my numbers since October 2013…. I  would have liked to know that- I thought I was reacting to other medications, so I went off them- did I even need to go off them?  Who knows.

I have a good feeling about tomorrow. My dermatologist was on my side- along with my new GP (she didn’t feel comfortable writing a prescription because it wasn’t her specialty- but she is a back up plan). But regardless, I feel good about tomorrow.

Usually- I am obsessing over my Diabetes at this point and getting nervous- I get worried about getting “yelled at”- which I shouldn’t. But this time I am not. I am only concerned with my thyroid (or whatever is going on). I know I am going for Diabetes, but Diabetes is taking a backseat for that appt- sure we’ll make adjustments and such. BUT- things will change. The end.

 

I have had quite the relationship with my- this has been going on since titanic 2 happened in our apartment in January. Moral of the story- I don’t play. You do something wrong- and then admit it- and then don’t correct. I’ll make sure you do and record you saying it should be fixed and I am not responsible for various charges.

  • Please charge me 600 for your error.
  • Please say it is our fault, but we can’t do anything to fix it.
  • Please don’t process the paperwork to get my money back.
  • Please don’t process the paperwork for my extra credit.
  • If I take the time to call you and get hung up on, I will make sure I didn’t waste my time.

I take all the above, and more that happened, as a challenge.

That I feel as though I won. I don’t give up. I don’t just drop it because you make it hard.

I get employee names and numbers and keep asking for a supervisor. To reach someone who can do what you said you weren’t allowed to and you also stated no one would do that for me.

I got my money back. I got a credit because of all the time i spent. I stayed on the phone- and got stuff done while I waited.

You can’t treat people that way all the time. You’ll find people who won’t stand for it- like me.

 

In other news, I worked the last freshman orientation for the activities resource fair. So hopefully we will have many new members who are excited to be involved for Dawgs for Diabetes. I finished the newsletter last night with a lot of help. I’ve started on the College Tour and First Meeting plans. I’ve done some deep cleaning.

and oh yeah- CAMP KUDZU SESSION THREE IS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited, but at the same time- I can’t believe summer is almost over- WHAT?

-Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

Dawgs for Dibetes Newsletter July 2014

So I got a little excited. very excited. the second I received my last round of edits. I had to publish it. I couldn’t wait.

I have been staring at a computer screen all day to finish- and I got help from my amazing friends. So I am glad to be done, until the next one. We fixed the glitches. I think. I hope so. I will either learn and get better at this- or I will find a member who is into this kind of stuff- I’m not good, and I’m not a fan.

nothing like waiting until the last minute to get it out there. I’d love to hear what you think.

D4D July Newsletter

I’d love for you to visit our website above- and follow it! and maybe donate if you feel inspired.

D4D newsletter in Word

Camp is in a few days- and I am almost finished with two posts- one for tomorrow and one for friday (and I am for real this time). I have my new endo appt on Friday too- hope it goes well. I want my prescription!

-Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

A mixed bag of emotions.

As I always say- Sorry that I didn’t proofread- in a rush!

Sometimes I think I never know what I’m going to get out of each day- each hour even. It can go way to another- you never know what you’re gonna get- I feel the need to watch Forest Gump now.

These past almost two weeks pretty much have reflected the whole school year.

I’ll end this post on a good note then right? Here it goes. Once I reach my limit I tend to go into hermit mode- so I probably should have a written a post because writing makes me feel better- I did more fictional writing though. I tend to want to only read or binge watch movies/TV- and I become antisocial- which isn’t always for the best. I think I’ve reached a point of numbness though at this point. I didn’t really do much- I allowed myself to do nothing- which was incredibly hard for me but I am assuming well needed.

At the end of the summer I plan on doing a post about the past year to show all what happened- and it’s been a lot- good and some eh.

Because of circumstances out of my control, I am searching for a new job- which means I used my backpacking money I had saved so I could survive the summer- so backpacking is no longer a pretty sure thing- along with running the Disney Princess Half Marathon next winter or even the Ath-Half this fall- that stuff is expensive- I was already living paycheck to paycheck because no financial aid because no summer classes- and the aftermath of the flood was hitting me- so that’s all up in the air.

I will need to take the LSAT again because it is not the score that I want it to be and I am sure I can do better- that’s $160.

I had to leave the camp I was at because of circumstances last week,

I am having issues with my internet and TV company again.

and I mentioned I hadn’t been feeling well for months- I assumed that I would have had a prescription in my hand by May- I was wrong- Basically something is up for my thyroid- I haven’t been feeling completely myself- and it’s getting worse. Because the main thyroid numbers aren’t in sync and a few are out of range or almost out of range- they don’t want to do anything. They want to wait- well my new doctor does- my old doctors told me that I was just stressed out- I wasn’t getting my stressed out stomach aches till about hmmm LAST WEEK- and not feeling well has been going on since last fall- I was not even told my numbers were being watched…. The next doctor says well symptoms will probably get worse…… but we won’t do anything? The next doctor- my current one who won a lot of Diabetes related brownie points in my book- agrees that something is wrong- but she isn’t completely sure…… My antibodies are THROUGH the roof…. So hopefully August I will answers and a prescription- I somewhat understand the need to wait and make sure they know what’s wrong…. but at the same time- I really don’t feel well. (once we figure out what is going on for sure- I will post my symptoms and what the plan of action is). So on that note- I don’t want to take or study for LSAT if I’m still sick- again.

Then a few other things here and there popped up. So I went a little numb- went into TV mode. I’m pretty sure I will stay numb until things can be in my control- and right now they aren’t.

But I’m so lucky to have the people in my life. They’ve allowed me to be in a crappy mood and have been there to listen. They’ve been there to cheer me up.

Another bump in the road right? We’ll see what happens next.

None of this in no way cancels out the three weeks of camp I was at- or the little things i always keep in mind. I may have to reevaluate my plans for the future- not get rid of them just adjust them.

I already have two tentative interview for a job this fall. Fingers crossed. I’ve made plans for best and worst case scenarios- I like to have it all planned out.

I’m getting to watch some people I’ve known for most of my life start a journey with their colleges and the College Diabetes Network- which makes me BEYOND excited. I made announcements at camp about CDN and D4D- and I had no idea HOW receptive people would really be. So new chapters will be starting- and my dream is to make sure there are chapters at all SEC schools before I graduate- so let the contacting begin.

Even though my LSAT score wasn’t what I wanted, I’ve been getting courted by A LOT of law schools- not my top choices- but some of them are up there- some of them are Tier 2 and I even got an email from a Tier 1- offering me money to attend or have the application fee waived- so I take that as a good sign. It’s at least up there- not my standards but it’s enough for a lot of places- which is honestly a little flattering to me. The schools only have my area of interest, school I go to, major/minor, GPA, and LSAT- that doesn’t even include my accomplishments and resumes so….. who knows right? Someone told me I was too hard on myself- which I can be- I’m biggest critic- but I also know what I need to do to get where I want to be.

After a pump vacation from my two favorite spots for about four months- I have gone back to my favorite spot! SUCCESSFULLY- It didn’t kink. It didn’t bend. It didn’t bleed automatically. and it’s working well! Finally- missed those spots oh so much!

I have a new endo appt August 1- and I’m told I will love her.

I leave for camp again tomorrow- and I am so excited.

So we’ll see what’s next. Soon starts my last year of my undergraduate career- and as I’m told I never have a normal day- and usually I love it and I love to not be normal- but occasionally- it’s not so fun- which is a completely acceptable way to feel.

Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

My love letter to Camp Part 1 or 3 (maybe)

So if you follow me on twitter or we are friends on facebook or you interact with me on a regular basis- you know what is on my mind- camp- for all those who don’t get it- this can become annoying- but I don’t care. It is literally my favorite time of the year. I’m not a fan of summer- but camp actually fixes that.

and the fact that camp also signals that I am done with the LSAT kind of helps A LOT. There will be a post on Diabetes and LSAT soon. I’m also a little low right now- so the scattered-ness it’s real life!

Also- Dawgs for Diabetes- it’s our year- I know it- all that hard work is starting to pay off and SHOW the world we mean business- for all those who didn’t believe in us before-BOOM- watch us kick but.

so back on track- My love letter to camp- I will NEVER be completely able to put into words my love for camp- I will never be able to write enough posts to even cover it. so this will cover the basics. This will be one of three parts. I did take a little blogging hiatus but I’ve been at camp for three weeks!- and taken the LSAT. I started this post before I left- and I am finishing it now. Also, the circumstances I found myself in when I got back from camp have also given to my delay, but with all this newly acquired extra time on my hands I can write a lot right? Not just blogs- in general. I can binge watch and binge read. But anyways. This one is kind of specific and thoughts before especially geared towards Kudzu, the next will be about my wonderful experience at Kudzu and To Belong, and the Last will be a general camp letter that can hopefully apply to just about everything. Because of those 6 weeks of summer camp- I’ll have even more to say.

My post on facebook- I have also changed my profile picture and cover photo to be very campy-

“I love camp shopping.
I love camp clothes that are acceptable to wear but if you wear in the real world people stare at you (I don’t really care though).
I love camp songs and dancing after meals.
I love that camp makes me lose my voice.
I love being surrounded by other amazing people living with Diabetes.
I only love peanut butter at camp.
I love camp tan lines.
I love tie-dye and friendship bracelets at camp.
I love amazing camp volunteers.
I love being around my camp family.
I love; not being told I can’t eat this or that, hearing I’m high all the time, that everyone gets it, that you don’t have to explain it or people stare, that the Diabetes jokes are actually not hurtful but rather funny/cute or a cool story.
I love the connections.
I love….. SO MUCH MORE.
I LOVE CAMP. IT IS ALMOST CAMP. GOODBYE REAL WORLD. GOODBYE LSAT STUDYING. HELLO CAMP.”

Guess what? This doesn’t even cover everything-

Did you know that if I hadn’t gone to camp at 8 years old- I wouldn’t have had a close friendship with another person living with Type 1 until I was 14? and I would have only have had minimal interaction with others- I’m pretty sure no camp would have had a HUGE impact on my life. My mental health, my friendships, my goals and dreams- and so much more- I probably wouldn’t be involved with Dawgs for Diabetes- that means no college diabetes network- WHAT and I also wouldn’t have my roommate right now. I cannot imagine that actually. I don’t want to.

I believe in the power of summer camp. I believe in the power of being surrounded by those who “get it”. I believe in the power of tie-dye and bracelets. I believe in the power of those living with Type 1 lining up in the dining hall and everyone crying because of all the years of Diabetes down the line. I believe in the power of encouragement- learning as you go- building friendships. I believe in surrounding yourself with the family you have made and surrounding yourself with  people who believe in you unconditionally. I believe it’s the best way to get away from the real world. 

Without camp- I wouldn’t be who I am today. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that.

because all of this and so much- I am so passionate about camp. I am so passionate about being involved to this day. I am so passionate about creating this enthusiasm in campers every year. I want them to feel this way too. I want them to feel empowered when it comes to Diabetes and other factors of life.

You never know how much a child needs this week- you may never fully know- we all need it- but part of me thinks some people might really need that week even more than others.

The parents need it. This might be the only week of the year that they get a full night sleep because they are up every night checking blood sugars.

I want our Kudzu family to keep growing and impacting lives for those impacted by diabetes until there’s a cure.

Basically- moral of the story- I LOVE CAMP SO MUCH AND NOTHING COMPETES WITH THAT- so if I personally invite you to come- that means something just by the way. Never ask me to skip a year of camp. Know that when you become a part of my life- camp will be everywhere.

Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!

My “Love” Letter to all the wonderful heroes in my life. (and an excuse me- I can be a little sassy)

So I keep thinking, and I don’t know why I bother thinking this, that I’m not going to be as busy. That I’m going to have more time on my hands. That I’m going to power through on netflix and binge watch some shows, watch those 100 Greatest movies. Read those 20+ books I have. NOPE. NOT A CHANCE- but you know- what that’s really okay- I don’t mind- I like being busy- I thrive when I’m busy- I’m actually not that stressed- everyone just assumes so. I’ve got work- LSAT studying to do, Dawgs for Diabetes, and camp soon. All that stuff- including cleaning my room is taking a back seat. That will all change soon. Well add an internship in there in the fall- but I won’t have any law school stuff to do by around October- what will I do with myself? I said I’m a work-a-holic in the making- someone corrected me and said I already am one- oh well? I’m teaching myself to relax more- and I schedule it. That’s what matters what? and I love what I do.

Here I am at work- in between shifts- ready to take my practice LSAT- and NOPE- LOW. OF COURSE. and people are still chilling after their meals- so it’s kinda loud. so I’m waiting- and trying to finish this post- so I can write another tomorrow-  because this will be a four part series. See- got inspired! I was hoping to write one yesterday- but I was too exhausted.

Update- did not finish until two days later- I ought to just make sure my posts are well polished and have a publish time set automatically. Lesson learned. I got distracted by other things and other possible posts. OOPS.

But here it goes- back on topic.

Ever wonder, if you know, why I made a name change to my JDRF Walk team last year? or why it’s that name. I’m very against “growing up”- but my walk name team has. It started as Animal Walkers for Mindy. Then Freshman year of high school I decided on Mindy’s Diabetic Freaks. After Diabetes Awareness month in November 2012 I decided to change it again- I’m thinking it was my one last time? We will see.

I changed it because I realized so many people had grown to become heroes in my eyes.

To Mindy’s Heroes (also my walk team name now),

This is for the people who aren’t required to invest in the Diabetes community. This isn’t the doctors, endos, family members, significant others, and so on. Although they are important too, and they are also heroes.

These are the people who could have easily walked away. People who could have decided to not learn anything. People who don’t do what I mention in the later part of this post. People who could have not taken notice to what is going. People who didn’t have to step up- but they did.

To the teachers who looked up more information than needed so my family and I would feel safe. Who didn’t tell me I was faking it. Who buy walk shirts. Who comment on all my Diabetes related posts.

Teacher Blog Post

To the kind person who is intrigued by my Diabetes related shirt, my medical bracelet, my meter, my pump, and so on- who ask me questions because either they know someone or they want to learn a little more. You’re awesome. Did you see my face light up? Because I LOVE talking Diabetes. I also guarantee that the person you know would love the fact that you noticed I have Diabetes too. I love spreading the knowledge because honestly I think knowledge can fix so much. If I tell you a little about something Diabetes- maybe you’ll tell someone- or correct someone who might be making a Diabetes joke. Maybe you’ll work with someone who has Diabetes- a child, a young adult, a co-worker- and you already know a little something- the ripple effect-becoming one of my favorite things.

Now to the people who make my heart smile every day- those who embrace my diabetes management. My friends, classmates, and co-workers who want to know more. Who want to know what they can do if need be. I firmly believe that the people in your daily life need to know what to do in case of an emergency- for real! When you listen to my rants or excitements- when you listen to me about my highs and lows even if they don’t completely understand.

Those who draw blue circles on their hands, wear blue, volunteer at camp, go to walks, get shirts, raise money, help support Dawgs for Diabetes, and so much more- you are my heroes.

All the people who believe in my crazy dreams- who encourage the fact that I’m crazy- who even take part in the crazy.

Believing in me- that’s a powerful thing honestly. I will always remember that wherever I go and no matter what I do- or how long it has been. I will always remember. I will also honestly compare new people who enter my life to you. Which probably isn’t fair. But they’ve got big shoes to fill- well not fill- but you know what I mean.

Here’s where I kind of go off on a rant.

You see I live by if you don’t accept my Diabetes you really don’t accept me. This was more of a problem in high school than now but it still happens. I know- maybe that seems harsh. But- it makes up a lot of who I am, my family- CAMP, what I want to do, etc- so not embracing that makes me feel like you aren’t embracing or accepting a huge part of my life. I don’t mean that you have to be an expert. I don’t mean that you have to get involved in the Diabetes community. I don’t mean that there isn’t anything more to me than Diabetes because there is- trust me. You don’t really have to do anything or know everything. You just have to respect me.

I really don’t want to find out you believe I’m faking it because what happens if I’m not and I might need your help- but you think I’m faking it? Also you don’t really know how I’m feeling- it’s an invisible illness after all. I don’t want pity- that makes me feel awkward (not the kind of awkward I embrace). I don’t want to become your project because you feel bad (or even frustrated) about me living with Diabetes- I can’t even go more into that. I don’t need to be fixed- who are you to decide that? I don’t want your charity- I’m doing perfectly fine. I need you to understand that Diabetes is real thing, and I can’t just manage it without any bumps in the road. You can’t believe that A+B=C every time sometimes it’s Z instead of C. Sometimes there are so many other factors. Don’t ignore or down play how passionate I am about this and what I want to do- or challenge WHY I am. Welcome to my hot button please sit down (FOR A LONG TIME) while I explain to you why this is important to me. Why I believe I need to do what I want to do. Why I am me. You don’t have to agree with me but do not even try to belittle me. Being annoyed sure- I can understand- I’m a little crazy- but don’t try to bring me down or be negative about anything or try to change my mind- none of that will work.

All this will do is make me lose respect for you if I try to talk to you about it, and you don’t listen. It will make me second guess why you are in my life. I’ve had people not support me or not believe in me, especially when the times have been rough- and believe me there’s been a lot of those. The ones who leave when I might need or want them to stay, you can’t come back whenever you want. Honestly, that’s something that has changed for me. You don’t get endless chances. You don’t get to choose when you are a part of my life. You’re either there for the rough and the AMAZING times or not at all.

I’ve had people who I used to call friends show up again all of the sudden because I’m doing well in college and life (at least I think so)- I won’t push you away or be angry with you anymore- but I know. I remember. I remember when you walked out of my life. I remember your words. I’m honestly not angry but I won’t be played. I assume that after I get into Law school and then when I become a lawyer this will happen all over again, and I will react the same way again.

“If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”- Will Smith

Friends and a Diabetes Game Plan from Diabetesaliciousness comes into mind- why it’s important your friends are informed.

Sorry I got a little side tracked. Sorry this wasn’t a completely happy go lucky post. With everything that is going on- I thought this fit as well, and I needed to say something. Some love letter and some real talk?

If I ever ever ever ever get published (hypothetically- I do want to write as well)- my dedication page will be sassy- It will be dedicated those who believe in me and were there for me. BUT it will also be for the people who didn’t- to the people who kept telling me no- (say hello to my yes).

Love, Words, Inspiration, and Insulin! -Until next time! and until there’s a cure!